Assertiveness


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The Art of Communication

Many people find situations where personal power seems to diminish. People find difficult to make their wishes known to others. Anger, confusion and helplessness are the feelings that can find their way, when we fall short to express what we really want. Millions of people have learned to express themselves more effectively through the process called assertiveness. Assertiveness can be defined as a “Behavior that promotes equality in human relations, enabling us to act in our own best interests, to stand up for ourselves without unjustified anxiety, to articulate personal rights without denying the rights of others”.

Assertiveness advocates equality as an approach to direct one’s life style. It is an instrument to refurbish the balance of power by making it possible for everyone to gain and no one to loose. Every individual has the same fundamental rights irrespective of gender, age, religion, cultural background, role or designation. Unfortunately social powers often weighs up human beings, rating some group of people as more important than others. Society tends to perpetuate ill-founded beliefs, as adult being more important than others, men are more superior to women or teachers are more respectable than students and many such other value allotments are practiced. Individuals who break the conventional boundaries and take initiative to express themselves are often swiftly suppressed and the reactionary social commands continues to hampered the route to self-assertion. Contrary to traditional teachings,
assertiveness attempts to evenly affirm the rights and self worth of all the individuals involved. Hence it paves the way to develop self-assurance by acting in our own best interests and standing up for ourselves. It nourishes the ability to make our own decisions and to effectively express and defend them. Assertive behavior makes people disciplined to align their goals and to strive to achieve them. Assertive people don’t find it difficult to trust their judgments, to say no to persuasive people and respond passably to criticisms. Assertiveness not merely emphasizes self expression but without painful anxiety or anger. Assertiveness training enables to express the feelings honestly and contentedly. People observe it to be highly stressful to reveal their resentments or sometimes the warmth feeling to others due to anticipated negative consequences. Learning to be assertive help to override such fears and allows choosing appropriate and self-fulfilling behaviors in a variety of situations, resulting in positive consequences. Assertive behavior integrates self-expression without unfair criticism of others and manipulation, thus exercising personal rights without over stepping the rights of others.

Assertive behavior contributes both to personal satisfaction and to the quality of your relationships with others. Personal satisfaction and expressiveness subsequently improves self esteem, reduced the anxiety, overcome depression, accomplish more in the terms of goals in your life and gain greater respect from others.

Assertive behavior is primarily characterized by an open and effective self expression. Not believing in the right to be assertive, anxiousness or lack of skills may be the possible barriers in expressing oneself effectively. Expressing one self is a basic human need and we have been meeting it since we come into this world, though may be not assertively. Self expressions are often classified as aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive and assertive. Although self enhancing and expressive of feelings in situations, aggressive behavior hurts other people. An aggressive person accomplishes goals at the expense of others. Aggressive people may achieve others goals but may also generate unpleasantness and annoyance on the other’s part. The terms aggressiveness and assertiveness are often confounded. Aggressive response is too sturdy and may generate a negative impression that may be felt regretful
later. On the other hand assertive behavior doesn’t denies others rights and not forceful to others. Passive people on the other hand swallow their feelings, to stay away from disagreements and consequently remain depressed. People known by passive behaviors have low self esteem, quiet feeble to take stands for themselves and get succumb to the other choices in an effort to please them. Society deals passive people just like door-mate. Appropriately assertive behavior is self enhancing, an honest expressions of feelings, leading to completion of goals and uphold good quality relationships. Opting an appropriate act, engraved with good feeling classically escorts an assertive response, even when goals are not achieved. It is worth mentioning that assertive behavior is person and situation specific. Individual differences and existing circumstances must be brought under consideration to make the responses effectual and outcome achieving. Cultural background may create an entirely different set of personal circumstances which would change the appropriateness of assertive behavior.

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