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Many people spend months or years trying to decide whether or not their loved one is alcoholic or drug addict. Then they spend additional months trying to decide what to do about it. But once they understand the dynamic of the disease they can identified the symptoms.
Here is a story of Marry Louise mention in the book ‘‘Freeing Someone You Love from Alcohol and Other Drugs’’ written by Ronald Rogers, Chandler McMillin. Marry Louise was sitting in her kitchen window and taking coffee. She went in flash backs, that was her son’s birthday she gave the responsibility to her husband to bring the cake at home he was an alcoholic and forget his responsibility she made excuse for his mistake and end up the party. When her husband came back at home she asked for the cake and start arguing with him. Next morning her husband behaves normal as nothing happened last night.
Suddenly the phone rang she picked up the call, she was her neighbour on the other side and asked her to attend a AA meetings but she refused and made excuse but in reality she don’t want to share her problem with anyone.
Her friends also suggest her to leave her husband but she didn’t take any step because she thought it was her responsibility to take care of him and it is in her destiny. But she believed that with the passage of time her husband should leave the alcohol and everything will become normal.
She always seems tensed and worried about her husband. She always helped him whenever he was in some problem. She wanted to talk to him but was unable to express her feelings. Finally she took step for the treatment of his husband and attends AA meetings and 12 step recovery program to help her husband.
In this story Marry Louise made some errors which made her situation worse.
Error 1: He gives the drinking alcoholic responsibilities and then gets angry when he doesn’t fulfill them.
Error 2: She is fooled by apparent lulls in the drinking.
Error 3: She makes excuses for the alcoholic.
Error 4: She gets in arguments when the alcoholic has been drinking.
Error 5: She gets advice from friends who don’t understand alcoholism either.
Error 6: She question her own sanity
Error 7: She tries to protect the Alcoholism from danger
Error 8: She tries to handle problems without help.